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Notes from December 2018

Church - Client Orange

- "The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse fromm power."
  - Brutus

- A Romanian co-worker in an Italian restaurant where I woorked in Dublin once said to me (of Africans) "I'm not racist, I just don't like people of this color."

- Affordable housing as normally defined is not available for the workers in the main industry. They can be fired for no reason. There's no social-welfare system. This is not community. That's what needs fixed.

I got a tax number in Ireland by fluke once, and had jobs. On one job, I got fired because I accidentally sent a disparaging text to my supervisor instead of a co-worker. But you can't just fire somebody in Ireland. A job is a worker's means of support. There's a labo(u)r board and they will adjudicate such matters. Employers tend to not dismiss frivolously. The right to keep one's job is presumed in some jurisdictions.

I love the idea of UBI. People are doing too much work anyway. We place too much emphasis on keeping people employed, and there's no need for it.

Unemployment insurance here is absurd and I can't even place it in a range of good and bad sense, because it's not designed to do anything. Not to help. It's a pittance and then it's over. The stipulations for eligibility are silly with harsh consequences. And then, there's no social-welfare system. Nothing is set up to help anybody. It's fundamental.

Medicaid is good, and thank god for Obamacare and OHP. It's possible to visit a doctor now. But the doctors don't talk to each other, and they don't talk to me. They talk to insurance.

Food stamps may be the best help available. If you're on unemployment, though, that pittance dings the amount of EBT money you can get -- cuts it to a silly amount.

The local industry is hospitality. This industry lags behind even others in the United States in worker's rights. Cooks smoke because that's how you get five minutes' rest.

I'm touchy on the subject myself, obviously. I'm out of the market in Bend, eviction on my record and priced out even if it weren't. Priced out, that would be, if I were able to find anything were I looking. I wouldn't. There's no answer that involves "costs be damned" -- indeed money is the problem here.

I'm currently living in a little structure that I'm building around myself on the family property out in the country -- or I would be homeless. It's a damn desperate situation and I don't know if people know how bad it can get for how many people how easily. We need a social solution and I am definitely not opposed to solutions that don't involve the ability to listen carefully to music of wide dynamic range.

first layer of plaster started yesterday and today

A couple of years ago I began listening to Shakespeare as a language-learning project. That was my approach, I mean. I needn't explain here a desire to appreciate the work, and that's what I wanted. I just believed that I would have to familiarize myself with the dialect by exposing myself to hours of material. I began by listening by scene on shuffle through the body of plays.
  Then, when the cadence began to fall upon my ears more easily, I began to listen to plays. So far, the Two Gentlemen of Verona is the only one that I will not listen to again. I can't remember why. I don't like it.

We can't have the years back we lost in religion.
  We can't have the grandkids never born, nor the young love that brings them.

I grew up in a small religion that we believed was the one true way. I learned of its history as a young adult, in the process of leaving with guilt.
  In the last half-year, I've attended two funerals conducted by this church; my father died in July and this past weekend I accompanied Mom to the memorial of a beautiful elderly woman named Arlene.
  There were two memorials that day, in the same room. There were the clear voices of affection from those who liked Arlene, and miss her. And then there were the church people, celebrating her death.

wave of emotion i didn't want in public -- but nobody near me felt it, or noticed
  the crowd was like a stone and i was relieved but that's disturbing

of course i got preached to on the way out i took it with an idiot grin and a shrug

a hate called love

I believe that the reason that american conservatives accuse others of their own faults is that they're not intelligent or creative enough to think of any others.

A couple of years ago I began listening to the plays as a language-learning project and I've exposed my ears to a lot of material in this time. Currently my favorite performance is RSC's Richard II with David Tennant (2013.)

I have a cat who lives in Mom's house now, her name is Miss Kitty. I called her that because she was not my cat. She came into the house I was where I was living downtown. I asked my friend Kevin what to do about her, because he knows about cats and I didn't know what she wanted. I couldn't afford a cat. He said not to feed her and if she keeps visiting you'll have a friend.