December 2019 notes

- presume yourself above the judgementalism

- the effects of behaviors, and what it is you're trying too do

.

I purport that I have never told a lie to either about anything.
Now both want to end it all and me lying, which I'm not doing.
And i don't want to have to argue that facts matter, but maybe i do.
if i have to disabuse a bad idea then i'm going to take them all.

. - treating me like my very real problem is not real

.

deanna's fingerprints all over it
doug's signed up hunky-dory
because it hurts me

Jeff was leaving so I had to get out
i wanted to, too
but jeff had brought me there and with him leaving i had to go

i had told him i would not pressure him to quit drinking as long as he was with her -- because that would have been too much to ask

- I asked Mom if I was mean to Doug while growing up, and sshe said no.

- i had hoped i could have some time alone on sundays

- where the good lord split ya, if that's how it happened

- you didn't help with dad

- Elective perspective
willfull delusion

- "Why is it important for your brothers to disbelieve you??"

- Dr No no no

- Great bunch of lads
general affinity for a group of people -- Croatians, for example -- presumed friendly to the Irish

- snarled and sneered and curled his lip and shouted

- Dr Hill didn't like the word fatigue Cody didn't like thee word dizzy They have an EMG and an MRI and they're quibbling with me about words I've used in describing the condition.

.

- you could say "moral issues," but then you'll end up sayiing "moral issues like abortion."
might as well save the time.

the judges who are against abortion
are what evangelicals get from Trump

.

- I've been rigorously challenged about my description of symptoms while the doctors hold an MRI showing the specific physical effect in 3D. I get asked about a word that I've used, and the implication seems to be that I'm lying. It will be cheaper and easier for them if I die before treatment