I'm angry all the time.
It never goes away.
Sometimes I feel better for a while. I can talk myself down; and I can be civil to people around me and I think I'm generally a sweet-hearted person.
But I'm always angry.
All I want is a woman, or women sexual satisfaction and the comfort and pleasure of the touch of the human female. It never happens, no matter how I try. When I do try, I just get more angry.
I get angry with myself when I don't try. I get angry with women when I do disgusted at the thinness of the range of possible outcomes, all of which have the same result frustration and sexual deprivation.
Sometimes I lose a bit of dignity, too, in the effort to find some happiness.
People so glibly recite the platitude rhetorical "what do you have to lose?" But with nothing to gain according to the record of my experience loss is all that's available.
12 August 2011 Bend, Oregon