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The Dutch can't skate.

Anno 2012, Nederland

13.000 gewonden door schaatsen: 'dramatisch hoog'

— De Volkskrant

In the deep freeze of early February, thirteen thousand people in The Netherlands hurt themselves while skating.

"Mostly what you see is that people — through fatigue, inability, or because they're busy with other things — just fell down," said Cees Meijer of Consumer Safety. The organization concluded that the Dutch skate poorly.

Skating is a long Dutch tradition. But so is dry commentary. People don't know how to skate, and they're falling on their heads. You tell it like it is.

To be fair, the Dutch don't get good ice every year, since the end of the Little Ice Age.

For example they have a world-famous-in-Holland skate tourney in the northern province of Friesland, a 200 km race between eleven cities, every year when the ice is good enough. They've proceeded with the Elstedentocht only fifteen times since the inception of the event in 1909. The last time that it occurred was in 1997.