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How to cause a minor traffic accident as a pedestrian in Bend Oregon

Oregon, 23 November 2011 —

I caused a minor traffic accident today. Allegedly. It wasn't my fault and I won't be going to court.

I was walking toward downtown aside highway 20 and as I approached a side-road, a car wheeled up beside me heading toward a right turn from the main road — and it stopped. If it had kept going, it would have been out of my way before I got there, so I stopped. It was a matter of principle. I didn't think about it, that's just how I feel, dammit. She had the right-of-way.

I waved whoever it was onward. I didn't look. I guess I was kinda thinking, "*don't* look — it'll only encourage the driver (to be obsessed with making me go first.) You give the driver the chance to make that whispy little hand-motion, and then they've got you.... But, apparently, it doesn't even take that.

I waited. I was listening to some good music (Zdob si Zdub, my favorite band from the Republic of Moldova [otherwise known as Basarabia.]) After about ten seconds I start thinking "I should have been timing this. This is prodigious."

Prodigious amongst freaks, I think I meant to say.

Not once have I convinced a Central-Oregon driver that I do not want the right of way that did not belong to me. They have always always waited me out. Once they decide that I'm going to go first, they will not accept otherwise. If there's a description of asshole anywhere in the universe, it should include the false politeness of these dildos.

Anyhow, after a long wait I decided to go ahead and look up, because after all you'd want to see anybody who'd be so damn persistent in an attempt to display politeness.

There they were, not one car but two, and two women standing looking at the spot between them where the bumpers were in contact. It must not have been much of a collision — I had not heard it. Anyhow, I took my earbuds out, of course.

They were talking official details between themselves, as anyone would have to do. I couldn't believe this. I just said "you could have kept driving and been out of my way before I got there." That was easy to think of. That's like my mantra here in Central Oregon.

Anyhow, they got back into their respective vehicles. The woman in the car who wanted to wait for me said to me, as a parting shot, something about "blah blah you've caused an accident." I said "good. You deserved it." That sounds like a mean thing to say, I know, and I guess it was in a way. But it was also true — not the "good" part, but the part about how she deserved it. Nobody got hurt; don't get me wrong or be ridiculous. Nothing happened, really. She deserved it because she had no business sitting there in the middle of a lane of a highway, waiting to give me her right-of-way, which I did not want and was clearly not going to accept.

And I didn't have time to say that to her, nor to think of it, as she ducked back into her car.

Then they both of them, in their respective cars, turned the corner off the highway, in front of me, while I waited, and then I went on my way listening to my music.


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