Home page

Articles of living together

Irish mama's boy

"A woman's work" — but then where's your woman?

The only difference between living with a male housemate and living with a child is that you cannot tell a man to clean the place.

It's not that the women are universally better — but men often avoid housework as if it's explicitly not their job. They will do it poorly, if at all.

So you have to make a choice. You have to decide whether you want to clean up after some capable adult; have a series of uncomfortable discussions; or live in filth. If you choose to speak, you have to be a kind of a diplomat — you have to speak to a male ego. You have to speak to a child. The only difference is that a child doesn't consider himself a man, and your words are not as likely to be wasted.

".. I worked all day ..."
A lot of men believe that cleaning his mess is the "women's job." It's pig-ignorant — and it shows in hideous colors when there's no woman even around who lets him treat her that way. I lived with one guy who said it out loud: "I refuse to do a woman's work." It was remarkable only because he spoke the words. Many men think that way.

So, if you don't want to live in filth, and you don't want to talk to some adult about something you'd be embarrassed to not understand, you'll be cleaning up in the service of grown men. And once you start, you can't stop. Reliance develops, and then a blindness; and then an apparent belief that the house cleans itself. Soon, the words you could have said become difficult.

Usually, the only practical answer is to slack off.
  You have to live in filth.
    You mop the floor under the toilet when the smell of piss becomes too much.
      You learn to live with it. You can't stop others from being disgusting.