|Steve Edwards' website|
Kilkenny, Ireland, summer 2009
I have learned what it means to be racially prejudiced It's a dirty feeling and I write of it only because it's true, and because it's gone deeper than I can easily root out.
My racism is rather specific, directed at a particular class: the Irish teen. But it is racism, or at least an ignorant kind of prejudice, based not upon the behavior of an individual, but upon physical appearance.
I was harrassed by some teens in Kilkenny for almost two years. Of the teens that harrassed me, there was a kind of... a resemblance, a kind of ass-faced ugliness, a physicality that strikes me now as genetic putrifaction. Inbreeding.
Again, I write this only because it's true. True, at least, that this was my experience.
But, for whatever reason, I could recognize them, from a distance. Once "they" started harassing me, I could always know when one of them was going to say some filthy thing, from the safety of the group, behind my back. I could recognize a group, composed of lads I did not recognize as individuals, in which at least one lad was going to fuck with me. I could see, before thay had seen me, and I knew. I've never figured out how I knew it. And I was right, every time.
That look, that sickening, ugly, shitty face....
And that's how I feel now, when I see these gangs of kids, these undisciplined, unaborted mistakes....
I'm sorry to write like this; but not as sorry as I am that this is really how I feel.