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Seville, Spain, March 2001

I'm living in Spain. I've been in Seville for three months, not having left el centro since I've been here.

I've been working at Mex Rock, a Mexican restaurant, for a month and a half.

It's a bad job. I'm being exploited for not having papers, as are many folks with whom I work.

I can do better than this.

A friend from Canada is teaching English in individual classes, and I think I want to do this.

I've been considering leaving town. [But] my opportunities, however [richer] they might be elsewhere in Spain, are still going to be in the hospitality industry. I don't think I want this.

My body is feeling the pains, and my sense of dignity is still not comfortable with being exploited. Yes, I'm used to it; I'm from USA, the land of the free. The land of opportunity, if you already have the opportunity. I've been here before.

I met a young woman from Liechtenstein. We loved being together. I think she opted for Niko, the guy from Greece whom she liked less. He was more persistent, and she has not called me. She told him that she liked me more, when we were all together and he wouldn't give up.

I should never wonder why women are so passive and helpless.

I should be happy with myself.

God, how good it felt when she touched me, and wondered why she liked me so much. But that was last week.