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I Google Jesus but all I get is Tacitus and Josephus blah blah blah. The Testimonium Flavinium is the best anybody can do anywhere after centuries and wars and coffers full of national treasure, lives wasted and lives just wasted. A paragraph with a name, this Testimonium is at least partially forged and possibly interpolated.
If Jeff and Doug were treating somebody else the way they're treating me, I'd be ashamed of them for their lack of humanity. As it is, I fear them. I write this in defense of my future self, a person who has no place to live except this family property. My current self has no income. I'm seriously disabled (which Jeff and Doug disbelieve) and permanently, according to my neurologist. This is an approximate prognosis; my "C8 is shredded," he said. This condition is going to wax and wane for the rest of my life.
- looking back in time out there
- Pillowfight at Phillipi
- "Do you take American money?" asked the old, ugly overweiight man of the barmeisje. It was embarrasing, but he didn't represent me. He wasn't president. She said no
- It's easy to build a case against somebody in your own miind, and among the susceptible if you persist. And when you believe, you can begin to see evidence. You can do this to anybody. No intelligence is required, nor any special skill-set. All you have to do is believe. And to believe, all you have to do is want to.
- I didn't even see Doug between the 14th and the 18th. Thiis was peak season. If I'd seen him, I'd have asked him for the loan that he castigated me for not.
- I've probably learned something about the heart of women that Jodie disacknowledged me knowing we'd see each other at a funeral. I hope not, but still fear so. I'd pictured it adding to the grief -- and this was a grief of its own, until I got over it. In reality, she just added to the poisoning of the well. I don't really accept other people's judgement and I don't really need approval, so I can't say I really care what anybody thinks. But it's hard to get away from my family right now.
- If reasons were as plentiful as
blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon
compulsion, I.
- Jack Falstaff
.
- My Dad died a few days after I hurt my arm at work. He waas sick, right at the end, and ready to go. We had a funeral.
- absolution-seeking behavior, that if they can offer theiir condolences then they'll be done
.
- I couldn't do the next two pressure-washing jobs that weeek, and relinquished the equipment — including the truck, my transportation.
I worked at my own project, dialing down the impact on my right arm until I had to quit using it. I'm seeing doctors. The Oregon Health Plan is a bright spot in this story: shoutout to OHP.
- My family doesn't believe I'm hurt. They want me to get bback to work. Jeff and Doug were shouting at me on Sunday. Mom is more subtle. Mom's questions are a cold knife.
- I can't get unemployment (yet, anyhow) because there's noo report of my work. The one who does the books apparently drank the money she said was for my taxes. I don't know. We'll see. A tough guy and family friend was rude to me at the funeral. Later, he came to the house and refused to speak to me. So I know he's talking me down. Jeff is drinking, so he's providing the crazed preacher bombast. (Jeff has helped me more than anybody, but he's drinking and he's not a good drunk anymore.) Doug is maleable, as are the women.
- And the word is against me, across the board and at all ffrequencies. If I said it it's not true and if I can prove it then it's unimportant. They don't want to help me or for me to get help, and yet suppose that I should hear their critique, answer their questions.
And get back to work.
.
The implication that I got from the triage-like visit to St V de P is that I'm not in an emergency situation because my brothers don't have the power to evict me. I don't want to think too much about my greatest danger is thoe closest.
I got a notification this afternoon that my insurance had declined to cover a nerve test ordered by Dr. Verheyden. That I was to call primary. Mosaic directed me to call insurance company. The lady there found it odd I'd call. But she told me that there was no activity displayed, nothing since coverage of my initial visit to The Center. Mosaic then found that they'd referred my case to the wrong insurance company. I don't understand any of this. I'm just making a note of it. - sent to The Center 4:29 PM 8/1/2018
The tincture of time these days benefits the actuarial medical business, where eventually a certain stochastic number of people will randomly quit being a problem.
Doug called me "mean." He was emphatic and vicious about it. But this is what Doug has always done. Every time I've had problems that Doug has known about, he's always had something hateful to say. He turned on me in '97.
Romans 14:16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of:
I've asked Mom to apprise me of any suggestions that Jeff or Doug make regarding the property. I told her that I'm going to be keeping contemporaneous records. twigged it this morning: Deanna over here swinging big balls on Jeff's behalf is consistent with something Mom said a couple of weeks ago. Jeff was rather forcefully (drunk, say I) suggesting Mom "downsize," and he was going to mo=ve in here with some woman either Deanna or this other one. on sunday, amid hateful accusations toward me, Jeff suggested that the economy may decline and this may be a good time to sell the property. Last Friday, Deanna was over here to impose order. A couple of weeks ago, Jeff suggested the downsize. 28aug
on sunday when i mentioned Deanna's visit on Friday prior, Jeff and Doug verbally attacked me. Doug has turned against me every time in previous 20 years i've had difficulty so that's just background noise except his comment through vicious teeth thart i'm "mean" And Jeff's on the bottle these days, i must caveat. the bottle and right-wing talk radio Jeff said something. the economy, might not last, might be a good time to sell the property A couple of weeks ago, Jeff was over here and talking with Mom quite assertively about "downsizing." She said he said something about himself and a woman moving here Deanna or his current housemate, He hadn't been clear/she wasn't sure 29aug
that while they are not paying attention, I am taking notes
“The Mueller team is the A team, for real,” said Paul Rosenzweig, a senior fellow at the nonprofit R Street Institute and a former senior counsel to independent counsel Kenneth Starr. “And they are using a series of speaking indictments to, in effect, file their final report.” politico
Yabba Doo: The Flintstones Abridged
caught growing weed on a hemp farm
The only reason to act as if Republicans will tell the truth is to catch them lying The only time it's relevant to catch them lying is under investigation or oath Amazing, the commitment of some people to stop a medical procedure that can be done with a pill. They must want their faith attacked and put under scrutiny. They're begging us to slap down on religiosity, the way they're imposing the shadow of theocracy.
DAE think that " I find it harder and harder to side with Dems these days" is beginnining to sound more and more like a russian bot?
We will be shouting into elevators for a generation if these worms put a rapist on the highest court.
Verisimilitude is not worth watching somebody brush their teeth
I was living in a trailer without running water at my brother's place where he was living in the ugly countryside with a terrible woman
two gentlemen of tacoma
Russian bots and trolls and Fox News
My heart sinks when somebody enters the kitchen as I'm ready to go eat. My food is a sinkhole, a gripping swirling whirlpool and everybody's going to fall into it face-first. "Oh, that looks good." Go away. Jesus.
a fatiguing ache
If everybody needs it everybody should have it.
- People decry the decline of instrumentalism but some proddigious instrumentalism has not aged well.
- And in the future, he will have been a great public speakker, because that's what people will need to believe and say to justify mass ignorance.
- I believe that resting meat after cooking lets it cool inn a way that does more harm than... what good is it supposed to do?