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Principles of civilization



I live with people because I don't have money.



I don't mean to be unfriendly, but I don't live with people for friendship. I live with people because I don't have money.

Not everybody feels the same way, and many don't understand intuitively. The idea can be difficult to explain with tact and sensitivity.

There are certain practices, and some of those are clearly normal to some people, which for me will always need resolution, eventually. There some expectations that I cannot fulfill, or won't.

One housemate sat in his room, his door at right-angle to mine, with that door ajar, while he sat at his desk. An offense? No — but I knew that he was hoping to interact with me, maybe catch me there, at the top of the stair, and bring me into conversation. Me, on my way to my room, I had no need for that. I had to say something.

One housemate, at a time when I had an internet router in my bedroom that kept falling out of service, kept coming to my door. I brought a network cable through the wall and floor, and asked her not to come knocking. I could see that she was hurt, but there was nothing else I could do. That was, indeed, when I learned I could ask people not to come bother me. It's better to get that straight at the start, I have found.

Another housemate just wants to talk. Every time I enter the common area, he tries to get me into a conversation. I get irritated, eventually. I snap, or act badly in my aggitation. He likely has no idea why sometimes I just get angry and dismissive. I just don't want to be compelled into social interaction just because I'm going to the kitchen.