December 2000, Amsterdam,
I just remembered an experiment I did with dreaming last night.
I made sure to remember it explicitly, and just now recalled it.
I knew I was falling asleep, getting washes and waves of illogical forms of thinking. The phrase "dreams and reality" occured to me, and I began to repeat it in my head.
"Dreams and reality, dreams and reality," I began to repeat in slow rhythm, in a sing-song, absurd voice in my head. I changed the voice to a more serious, sensible one. That gave me a "cracking," or splitting, ripping sensation that didn't feel good. So I decided to continue the phrase in my head in the same way I'd started. I decided to keep doing this, consciously, while I was falling asleep, and becoming semi-conscious.
And I did; I fell asleep and had a real dream, however briefly, while repeating "dreams and reality" in my head. I felt myself at a Christmas-tree sale in the square of an old city. I woke up, knowing I'd dreamt, and still repeating the phrase in my head.
It was a little uncomfortable, really. Falling asleep is scary, when you think about it.
12 December 2000, Amsterdam The Netherlands