People can see what they want to see

I believe that people have the strange ability to show up when what they wanted to see is happening.

I first noticed this phenomenon (if it is in fact real) at a restaurant-bakery where I worked in Eugene Oregon in the late 80's.

Two women owned and operated the place. One was a great teacher and leader and I respected her immensely. I still do. The other was decent enough, but somewhat authoritarian in a Eugene Oregon kind of way.

Alice, a self-described "anarchist mother," was authoritative but not authoritarian. It was beautiful, because she understood the non-compliant tendency, and if challenged would explain why she'd issued a command. She was direct, empathetic, and seemingly encyclopedic in her knowledge of the food, down to the molecular.

The other owner-manager (a competent baker) was ideologically sympathetic, leftist and all — but she seemed to enjoy saying how it's going to be.

And I noticed... who shows up as I'm doing something I'm not supposed to? Here's Paula.