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From a notebook

Excerpting physical scribblings — write without stopping, take another look....

From a notebook, December 2004, Nijmegen, the Netherlands —
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Is there anybody not turning more to the right?

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Save often, and especially before brewing tea or cooking food.

If you make her think, she may not forgive you. Make her feel, and she may not forget you.

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When in question between two usages, I go to Google and try them both. The page count can tell a lot.

Example:

's ochtends (with space) 173,000
'sochtends (without [space]) 5,920

Thus I believe 's ochtends is the proper way [to spell] "in the morning." [in Dutch]

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I completed a "phase" of work on my website in November. I visited every page in edit mode. Corrected obvious problems.

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Keep writing. Write all day long. Don't worry about it any more.
...
Meditate a bit. Relax, some. Imagineer, suppose, try things.

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Going to work at 2. It's 11. I'm going to smoke a joint.

Learn some Dutch, do some writing.

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Support our troops in mutiny

I'm just kidding. I do not support violent overthrow of the armed services to stop an unnecessary war any more than I advocate violent revolution to dump the vicious Christian right in politics.

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31 [page-views] in 15:57 Flevoland Lelystad

Seems often a fast run through pages will average 30 seconds per page

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Kim says I need professional help. I resist that.

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Masturbation, weed, and pornography.
I need enthusiastic volunteer help.

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"Chivalry is dead. And women killed it." — Dave Chapelle

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Okay. Now. I either need to: 1. Quit weed; 2. Smoke for free; or 3. Earn more money.

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Thirty seconds. That's how long you get if somebody's even interested in your page. That's if they like you.

Set free a meme. See it travel. Make it go.

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The narrative. Don't forget the narrative.

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When I was young, I thought reason was winning. Reason, and democracy, and rock-and-roll, and equality. I thought the ideas were winning.

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I wasn't very good to Kim. Told her I'd be right over, then took my time. A sort of passive rebellion. I need to take it to the streets. Rise up.

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There seems to be no organized political left wing....
...
The political left is in fine shape. last evening, I passed by the supposed location ... of a demonstration against premier Balkenende, but nobody was there....
...
The left is unorganized, unmotivated, marginalized, and playing a cheap send-up of itself.

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I must do what I feel before she suggests it, because she can read my mind and she doesn't like that.

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King Philip of Spain ruled until 1600.

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I think I'm closing in on Dutch. Relatively soon, I should be able to speak it.

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Columbus died believing that he had discovered the alternate route to Indonesia.

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Liefde en seks. Liefde heb ik, seks niet.

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I refused to speak English today at the grocer. It was the first time I've done that, and it just came naturally.

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Klassieker. Elaborate.
unornamented. Plaintive simple words.

"There's money in the flag."

What am I doing tonight? Smoking again. Well. I write am I writing?
...
Something beautiful.

Populist.

How to get more involved.

Ik wil meer betrokken zijn.

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It is, if you want to get comparative about it, somewhat rude to ask me "do you speak English?"

The question, if disected, implies two things: 1) I'm a tourist, and 2) I don't know that I can speak English (which makes me an ignorant tourist.)

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Punch it through. Make it work.

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Stand up pick up let stand fly. Sit down shut up get up. Now. So. Just writing. I've been watching Dutch TV broadcasts. I'm sick of speaking English. I'm sick of having people speak English to me.

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A piece of the Sun

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The Dutch person who doesn't speak reasonably good English doesn't come into the cities where I've lived.

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Dit dat deze

Reprogram your mind.
Make it work.

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A request to the bilingual: Please don't ask me "do you understand this?"

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You can see here where he was developing his method right but then wham after a few years splam

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21 December the shortest day of the year.
...
[2004]

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"Door de ogen van de wetenschap kijken aan de nieuws van [de] week"
[("Looking at the news of the week through the eyes of science.") — from Nieuwslicht, my favorite Dutch program.

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My learning method is erratic. I embrace the tendency.

Start anywhere; work toward the core ... naar een eenheid (toward a unity.) Interconnectivity.

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Watching video is the three-dimensionalization of my earlier newspaper-reading.

Without having "read" newspapers, dictionary in hand, I could not understand spoken Dutch now.

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Oude-nieuwe jaar. That's good. This portends a broadening of my social aspect — and for the new year.

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Belgium is just across the border, and they make great beer. France is just across Belgium, and they make good food.

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I left America without a plan. I didn't want a plan; and I didn't have any first-hand information that would help me to develop a plan.

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The evolutionary benefit of ignorance.

Ignorant people speak with a confidence and they have answers.

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Kim told me she likes somebody else. I had a desperate feeling last night and couldn't be alone. I had to go to her.

• nauwkeurig — accurate, precise
...
• dwalen — wander, stray
...
• schommel — fluctuate

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"De een zijn dood is de andere zijn brood."

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Full Moon Christmas
Time for a little style

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You've got to do what you've always been doing. Only more of it.

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"Bestaat je nog?" SMSje naar Kim, 2de Kerstdag 19:00
...
Kim went to Frankfurt for a few days

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Two options: change of course, or do it more. Both radical decisions.

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... powerless rage. I must set a border here, against Kim. She chose not to honor our friendship. "I can't help you" she said — and she meant it. She also said I won't abandon you, but that isn't true right now.

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I'm pissed off at M_. I can smell her influence on Kim's decision to go out of town without talking to me.

"Kim went to Frankfurt without speaking to me. But I'm sure you knew that." — SMS to M_.

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Wow. Okay. So I have to do without Kim. Can I do anything by writing? Does that make sense?

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... 86 pages in 41 minutes France.

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Jesus. I hate to wish her a bad time, and I don't. But she didn't intend that I'd be happy about it.

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independencia
onafhankelijkheid
Independence

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